December 20, 2012
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請在我的喪禮上播這首歌
My Chemical Romance - The Light Behind Your Eyes
我一直在害怕，害怕自己會像去年十二月底那般，崩潰得不似人形。那段時間瘋狂地聽Foo Fighters的Best Of You，堪入很深的難過當中。今年十二月過了一半，要來的還是會來，就如世界末日一樣，（如果）來了，（一定）逃不了。My Chemical Romance剛剛星期二（12月18日）才推出的Single，The Light Behind Your Eyes，我一聽，就知道，弊了。
就是這種感覺。崩潰的感覺。
我對世界末日的期盼，或者，只是出於《新世紀福音戰士》的劇情。我實在很想知道，時刻到了，我會看見誰。我不像碇源堂，我不能確定自己會見到阿唯。（《新世紀福音戰士》中，大結局全人類滅亡，人類的肉身hold不住靈魂，所有靈魂重新結合為一個巨大的意識。在這個意識之中，從此人與人之間沒有「心之壁」，不會再覺得寂寞、不用猜測他人心意、不害怕被孤立。就在肉身崩潰前一刻，人們會看見自己最安心依靠的、喜歡的、著緊的人。－－那個由凌波麗幻化而來的幻像。）
寫這段文字的時候，已經是12月21日凌晨2時，外邊安靜得很。我要到今日才覺醒，世界末日，才不會是我盼望的人類一瞬全滅。命運會利用某些人（說實的他們還可以稱為「人」嗎？），用某些無恥到極點的方法，逐點逐滴，凌遲一般要你生不生，死不死。香港，一。定。會。漸。漸。給。末。日。吞。噬。那個末日，毋須明言。
當滿街喪屍之時，我不怕，我一定會自殺的。我死了，而你死唔去，還有閒情逸緻給我他媽的辦喪禮的話，請在我的喪禮上播這首歌。我希望還在的你留意歌詞。
My Chemical Romance - The Light Behind Your Eyes
So long to all of my friends
Everyone of them met tragic ends
With every passing day
I’d be lying if I didn’t say
That I miss them all tonight
And if they only knew what I would sayIf I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
One day I’ll lose this fight
As we fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as brightBe strong and hold my hand
Time becomes for us, you’ll understand
We’ll say goodbye today
And we’re sorry how it ends this way
If you promise not to cry
Then I’ll tell you just what I would sayIf I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lose this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as brightThe light behind your eyes
The light behind yourSometimes we must grow stronger and
You can’t be stronger in the dark
When I’m here, no longer
You must be stronger andIf I could be with you tonight
I would sing you to sleep
Never let them take the light behind your eyes
I’ll fail and lost this fight
Never fade in the dark
Just remember you will always burn as brightThe light behind your eyes
